The Infernal Departed

Man, am I disappointed.

I finally got around to seeing Scorcese's, "The Departed" even though I got a copy of it weeks ago in Hong Kong.

It was crap.

Let me elaborate: It was a bunch of disjointed scenes, laced with half-assed acting, vulgar dialogue, and pointless violence. Such a one dimensional film that was so bad, it proved once again that the Oscars are just a political event rather than a celebration of art on film.

Speaking of which, "Wu Jian Dao" (Infernal Affairs), was far better. This was the original Hong Kong movie which Scorcese tried to remake into The Departed.

Wu Jian Dao was a poetic movie with a lot of subtle qualities, strong acting, beautiful scenes, and honest drama. The characters had a rich rapport with each other, and in fact there were actually four unique stories coinciding at the same time.

While watching The Departed I could pick out a lot of the scenes that Scorcese took from Wu Jian Dao, but Scorcese's vulgar and coarse reinterpretation was like having a gorilla reproduce a Monet using a chipped crayola! My god! In spite of all the talent and money behind this production, it still failed miserably.

After watching The Departed, and hearing that Scorcese won Best Director and Best Movie for this shabby film, I realize what pissed me off about this whole affair. Not only was Wu Jian Dao not properly recognized for being the source of Scorcese's "inspiration", The Departed was celebrated even though it was a cheap copy.

Oh well. This too shall pass. At least The Departed wasn't any worse than Wu Jian Dao Part 3.

Beware of Your Friends: Part 2

Ok so I've been here in Toronto for a week now, and I met up with some boys from Vancouver who moved out here in search of money, position, and fame.

Back in Vancouver we were a tight group and we had some pretty great times. We also drank waaaay too much, but I like to think of it as "training". See the ability to ingest copious amounts of liquor is a skill that can sink you, or float you.

Well last night we tied it on after my half year absence in Asia. One beer led to many others and we were partying hard like old times.

The problem tho was that I grabbed one buddy who was trying to steal the shotgun seat in the car and I accidentally shredded his jacket. Man was he pissed off! I am not sure but maybe his great grandfather shot the cow and cured the suede to make the jacket while great grandma ran the refinery to make the polyesther lining. Damn.

Well the next day I felt like crap (not just because of the hangover) and smoothed things over. Gerry apologized for getting pissed off due to the liquor. I apologized for trashing his coat. Koolio. It's a guy thing.

So as I said, liqour skillz is a sharp double edged sword. It also gives you super strength!

ps: Special thanks to Asif for demonstrating the huge gash in Gerry's jacket. Great photo!

Who Needs a Job? I am an Inventor!

Check it out. I have the mad skillz of invention: The Baby Buggy Mower.

See I was sitting on the couch today, enjoying day time TV as is the fashion for the fabulously unemployed, when I saw a TV commerical for a baby buggy.

See that's when I noticed that the same technique for pushing a buggy is the same for mowing a lawn.

So why not combine baby buggies with lawn mowing?

Babies are starting to get too fat and so they could use the extra fresh air. See it also totally fits in with the whole Yummy Mummy, fitness craze going on right now.

I could sell videos that show Paula Abdul teaching mothers how to work out and cut the grass using stylish moves and 80's retro music. Just picture Paula and friends pushing my Baby Mower to the sound of Mister Mister's "Broken Wings".

Then I can get more product sales going by running late night infomercials with Paula and her B-list friends.

Pretty soon the money will start rolling in. Who needs a job? I got the Baby Buggy Mower.

Happy New Year Y'all

Just a quick post! From me to you, whoever you are, Happy New Year!

It's the year of the fire pig and so the good times are upon us.

Pork makes everything better: Sausage, BBQ, Soups, Stew, Ham, Roasts, Stir Fry, Pork Rinds, and the greatest gift of them al...crispy Bacon!

Cheers and good will to ya. If things in life start going wrong, just rub some ham on yourself. I am sure it will help in some way.

Fare Thee Well Vancity

I left Vancouver after a glorious one week stay. It was my first landing point in Canada since being away for about 5 months.

I stayed with my Sis and her new hubby, re-grouped with my friends, reconnected with some profs, and drank A LOT of beer and liquor.

On my last night in town, I went by a couple of good buddies to polish off a 40 of Havana Club, share some stories and tell some lies.

Well one of my buds hit the bottle hard and didn't have the Third World skillz that me and my other friend had.

So what do you do when one of your pals passes out? Grab some duct tape, your camera, and make a post on the internet. What else?

We sealed Pete to his chair and IKEA table, sprinkled some crap all over him, and placed an appropriate sign on him for posterity (Pete, you were so close to becoming the latest entry on YouTube).

Then we got hungry and stumbled off looking for "Wendy's".

Life in Vancouver. I'm gonna miss you guys out there in the Hippy province.

Have You Seen This Chileano?

So I've been back in Vancouver for exactly a week now and it's been a great rest. After traveling Hong Kong, Mainland China, Macau, Singapore, and Japan, I fought my way past San Francisco and landed in Vancouver.

Los Americanos est mui diablo! Aye mi dios....

Anyhow I've been reconnecting with the peeps over here and it feels good to see old friends and family again. Does it feel strange to be in the West again?

YEah.

Can I tell you how? Well...that would require a few pints and some slow time. If you got some, so do I.

Anyhow since I've been back the one question that alot of The People have is "Where is Rodrigo?". Well best we know he went back to Chile and is in the process of eating a whole cow, piece by piece.

Just so you know, Rodrigo is my buddy from the MBA program here in Canada. He went away to Shanghai when I went to Hong Kong. We travelled together, got drunk together, and figured out the answer to the meaning of life while we were lost in China. Too bad we were drunk so I forgot the answer.

Anyhow, I miss you buddy. We all do. You gotta send me some contact information 'cause one day soon I just might ask you to meet me in Cuba where we can have Cuba Libre, Mohito, and the cigars that are so good I am sure God always has a couple in his pocket.

I need you back in my life dude. No one else in the world can understand the shame and pain of that awful shitter we used on that dirty barge in the middle of China. We are a support group of two. Sometimes I don't think I will ever be totally clean no matter how many showers I take. Even now I have trouble looking men in the eyes.

So dude, please get back to us when you can. Put down that piece of beef and send us an email soon. The People have spoken.

Go West

I have returned to Canada. Specifically Vancouver. It's been great these last three days, but it's a little strange being home.

I guess after all the travels, the move from Winnipeg, and now my next destination of Toronto, I'm not really sure where home is right now.

Over the last few days I've been getting reaquainted with Vancouver and meeting old friends here. Sometimes it felt like I never left.

Anyhow, I am back in Canada now and quite happy for the rest. The adventures are not over; just sorting out the next one right now.